Today, we want to concisely talk about power and consent as it pertains to teachers and those with experience. We’d love for this behavior to serve as a model for our teachers and leaders, as well as to create a solid starting point for discussions when an issue arises.
This post is aimed specifically at those in a position of power and experience, and what their part is in working and playing responsibly with others. It’s not intended to disempower or take away from the power that other parties have; everyone involved has an important role to play. For brevity and focus, we’ll simply save that power and skillset for a different discussion.
Power Imbalances
Power imbalances occur when one person has something to offer that is not easily obtained elsewhere. In acro, this often happens when one partner has significantly more experience than the other. An experienced person can allow some to fly/base something more advanced, receive coaching/instruction, or potentially provide teaching opportunities that wouldn’t otherwise exist.
If you can provide those experiences to someone else, you wield in your mighty hands a power imbalance. “But wait, they said yes! They said it enthusiastically! Aren’t we good?” Not necessarily. In response to the imbalanced power, the other person constantly has to make trade-offs in their head:
- “I got dropped, but I shouldn’t complain or say anything because they might stop playing with me.”
- “I don’t feel comfortable with that touch, but I can’t do this move with anyone else.”
- “I can’t turn down their advances because I’m not experienced enough to teach without them.”
When there is a power imbalance, one party can be manipulated regardless of whether the other party intends to or is even aware of it. For this reason, you are responsible for keeping someone physically and emotionally safe when you have significantly more experience or power. Proactively get a spotter even if they don’t ask, because they might be too afraid to ask. Proactively ask how the hand or foot placement could be better.
Due to the variety of romantic issues that can arise, the safest way to avoid them is to avoid hitting on or flirting with formal (or informal) students. Prefer neutral/public locations over inviting new practitioners to your home for private training. If you feel there is a strong connection, allow them to initiate, or let it grow platonically until the power imbalance is less significant.
Enthusiastic Consent
This term appears a lot, and is important because it clarifies that a hesitant “okay, I guess…” is not sufficient consent. How can we receive such consent in acro contexts?
- “Do you want to play?” “Sure, I guess.” “If this isn’t the best time, we could play later. Is that better?”
- “Would you like to try a whip?” “Hmm, maybe.” “Let’s try something else then, but let me know if you ever want to work on whips.”
Both of these examples give the person an easy out by default, but also allow them to easily opt back in if that was their desire.
“But what if someone just needs a little push?” Yes, sometimes, people are pushed beyond their comfort and end up having a positive experience. However, these experiences do not validate the pushing and do not somehow “make up” for the negative experiences and trauma caused by other instances. If you receive any form of no, respect it, and move on.
“They said yes, and they said it enthusiastically! Now we can do ANYTHING!” Not quite. Consent also has to be informed, which means the other party fully understands what you are asking them to do and its consequences:
- If you ask someone to do a move, make sure they understand what it is and where you’ll be touching them. Ask if they’ve done it before, and consider showing them a video, and/or offering progressions.
- If your partner bending their arms will make the move unsafe, make sure they understand this.
- If they are responsible for their own exit in a certain direction, specify this up front.
Get consent for each move, and if you have any doubt, get a competent spotter or work on something different.
“Okay, we navigated all that and we’re in an awesome hand to hand. Can I press you to extended?” Slow down, buddy. Please set your partner firmly on the ground and ask, “can we try it again and press to extended?” This allows your partner to actually consider their response with their full attention and their feet safely on the ground.
By recognizing the role of power and consent play in acro, you can contribute to a safer, happier and healthier practice for yourself and the community. If you have had experiences contrary to any of this, please let us know.
Further reading: